


i dreamed we were dying

by amadridlover



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:37:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amadridlover/pseuds/amadridlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something wrong with Iker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i dreamed we were dying

**Author's Note:**

> Warning/s: Mentions of anxiety and depression.
> 
> Meh just a drabble. Everytime I'm away I miss this fandom.

He rolls onto his back and takes a deep breath.

It is dark—blackness everywhere. The rest of the house is sleeping, it’s very late. Or is it very early?

He hates the way the house makes noises. He is paranoid, always looking up to see if someone’s there.

His chest is trembling, and if it’s not his chest, then he’s sure it’s his heart. There’s something wrong with him. He feels paralysed.

Iker’s face crumples, and he cries.

He reaches over to his iPod and presses play. The song starts again and he lets himself go. His sobs blend into the music, entwine themselves with the track until he can’t imagine one without the other. His heart wrenches again and again.

Iker fists the collar of his jumper, presses down into his chest. If he doesn’t he will fall apart. Nothing is strong enough.

He hears a thousand angelic voices and he is alone.

It aches.

 

-

 

The feeling doesn’t go away.

It’s there when he’s talking to his friends over a cup of coffee, it’s there when he’s at the supermarket buying his groceries. It’s there, it’s there and it weighs down on him.

Have you ever been to the beach, and swam out so far you’re not sure if you can swim back? Iker is battling with a child’s fear that has grown in an adult’s world. It’s irrational, illogical. It’s overwhelming and there’s no way out. It drowns him. He’s thrown under violent waves and he’s not sure he can break the surface.

 

-

 

The recurring dream plagues him.

There’s a face and sometimes it’s clear and other times it’s blank but he doesn't need to see the facial features that serve as landmarks because Iker knows whose face it is.

The face is crying out, wailing. The sound is high pitched and terrifying.

Iker sees black, shadow-hands crowd around his peripheral vision. The face lets out another scream, this time, it curdles and cuts, staining the world in red blood. How can a scream bleed so much?

The face is enveloped into darkness and Iker is left with a feeling of desperation and despair. He shouts out—he thinks—at the inevitable end. The hands reach out to him, caress his neck in a slow strangle, and gently tear his body into tiny pieces.

 

-

 

“You need to talk to somebody.”

Cesc tells him in a quiet way, so that he doesn’t disturb his anguish. Iker holds onto him tighter, presses his nose into Cesc’s neck. He breathes him in between trembles.

Iker’s heart is quivering. He can feel it. He counts the beats, each tiny break gap between them petrifying him. His right hand clutches at Cesc’s wrist and he presses down firmly. One, two, three, four…

Cesc gives him this look, like he knows what Iker is doing. He shakes his head but doesn’t tell him to stop. Iker takes a deep breath. Five, six, seven, eight…

Later, Cesc straddles Iker’s waist, presses his back into the seat as far as it goes, and moves his mouth until it’s hovering above Iker’s. He pries his lips open slowly. Iker looks at him confused but Cesc doesn’t say anything, just waits. The next time he notices Iker’s eyes widen in shock, his counting waver, and his breath come out in choked fear Cesc blows. He blows and blows and blows until he knows Iker can feel it. Until Iker comes out of his panic and realises that Cesc is there, real and alive and warm and blowing the life back into him.

 

 


End file.
